Update On My Lyme Journey: Part 2

It's been over five months now since I started my new Lyme treatment. Despite working really hard for more than three years using various protocols, my doctor and I found out last September that I still have an active infection. 

Discouraging, but we also found out a significant missing piece to this puzzle in how the chronic Lyme infection has affected my immune system. To read my previous health update about this, please go here. 

I am having some rough days on this treatment; it's really up and down. Some days I feel better, other days I feel bad, and many days fall somewhere in-between. However, it sure beats feeling the absolute worst every day, all day, like I have for so many years.

We're also treating the long-term Epstein-Barr (EBV) infection I've struggled with for quite a while, too. Last fall, the immunologist that my doctor consulted said it's imperative to treat EBV in conjunction with Lyme because they get layered together and play off of each other. Therefore, treatment must target or address both. 

 Several years ago, I was treated by a physician for over two years with different prescription antivirals (Valtrex and Famvir) for Epstein-Barr specifically. Clearly, it didn't work because it's still an ongoing issue for me. However, we didn't know about the Lyme infection back then, so I believe Lyme and EBV do work in tandem, just as the immunologist said. Before hearing that from him, I'd always felt a link between them because of my own experience.

We are also working to correct the severe immune dysfunction the Lyme bacteria have caused in my body. I certainly think this has played a role in the chronicity of EBV, but I also believe Lyme disease directly has everything to do with keeping Epstein-Barr in a reactivated state.

As for the immune dysfunction, I'm stuck in overdrive on my T-helper 2 side, which means it overacts. As a result, this has pushed my T-helper 1 side into suppression, which causes it to underact. All of this is due to the chronic Lyme infection. It's been happening for a lot of years and has thrown me into an auto-immune cycle. The immunologist also told us long-term Lyme infections cause the immune system to become so confused that it literally loses its intelligence, but we're working to restore it.

I'm experiencing more neurological stuff at times, too. I've been having a lot of buzzing, tingling, numbness, burning, and shock-type pains. The sensation on the left side of my face was very dull for several days. All of these sharp, burning pains feel like touching an electric fence that sends a burning jolt through you. While it isn't very pleasant to go through, I think it's actually a sign my body is working to heal and repair my nervous system. I believe the treatment is helping reduce inflammation and better support my neuronal function, which is precisely what it's supposed to do. 

Also, the large Lyme ring rashes I've had on my back, chest, and abdomen for almost a year now are significantly better since starting this treatment. At one point, I seriously looked like I had the Olympic rings on my back, except there were way more than five. Overall, it has mostly cleared up, and I am so glad. A big thumbs up for that! 

I'm not sure what's coming next in terms of how I'll feel. It will probably oscillate back and forth, but either way, I've got to do this. We must deal with this Lyme infection as outright as possible and continue reducing inflammation in my body. I do believe there are some good changes are in progress. I just hope and pray I feel better sooner rather than later.

On a side note, this year, 2014, marks twenty years of chronic illness for me. I can't help but think back through the many long and difficult years and wonder how I've survived it all. It's been hard, and that's an understatement. But, as I've said many times before, and it really is true, God has kept me in ways only He could.

My beloved mother is and has been all throughout these years, my "boots on the ground," if you will. And let me tell you that when you're chronically ill, you need present, tangible help every day. 

Love and well wishes from afar are nice, but they aren't the present and tangible help you need when you're so profoundly sick, debilitated, and fatigued. She's the one who has been by my side through all of this, and I am ever grateful. I can't begin to tell you how much she has done for me over these past twenty years. Not only the big things but also the small day-in-day-out things. I am blessed by her care and devotion in helping me be well.

Prayer helps sustain us very much, but practical help is equally necessary; it takes both to get through this. Actually, when you're that sick and fatigued, and you can't function, you need those real and present hands and feet more than anything else. 

So yes, prayer helps, but it doesn't make meals for you or tangibly meet your ongoing physical needs each day. It doesn't drive you to doctor's appointments and sit with you while you're receiving your lab or test results. It doesn't hold your hand while you're having an awful day. In other words, love in action from somebody is required.   

My Mom and Dad have both made many sacrifices to help me since I've been ill. And I understand how truly blessed I am to have the ongoing support I do because many do not. My illness has been hard for my family too. I know it can't be easy to watch someone you love suffer so much for so long. Chronic illness truly affects everything.

What I'm experiencing while on this treatment isn't something I haven't already on some level over the years, but it sometimes gets wearisome. And, again, if you don't have that ongoing tangible support, it's doubly hard and stressful. 

Many do not have the support they need, and they suffer more as a result. Everyone whose sick should have somebody in their life they can depend on to help them, but sadly, that's not always the case. And that hurts my heart.

Let me say that I absolutely believe God is doing what only He can in this, but in the meantime, I have to keep doing what is necessary, too, and it is a full-time job. 

I continue asking Him for perseverance and resolve, so if you'd like to pray anything for me now, please pray for that. And please pray for everyone who has Lyme disease. The suffering is often so tremendous, and not everyone has a caregiver to help them regularly.

Better yet, if you know someone with Lyme, or any chronic illness for that matter (especially with no ongoing support), offer to help them practically in some way. For instance, offer to run errands or help around the house somehow. Perhaps they need transportation to an upcoming appointment, and, if you're able to do so, filling that void would sure lift a burden. Ask what their specific needs are and then follow through with the particular help.

I'll end for now by saying, none of this is easy, but you just have to focus on what needs to be done each day - that's what I've learned through the years.

Take one day at a time. 

Be brave. 

Do the work. 

Cry when you need to. 

And then trust God with the rest. 

Michelle

Update On My Lyme Journey

It has been quite a while since I posted an update on my health and where I am in this Lyme journey. So I'll get straight to it.

I still have an active Lyme infection, even after three years of various kinds of treatment.

Long-term Lyme infection = chronic Lyme disease.

This was confirmed by a Ph.D. immune researcher (Dr. N) whom my doctor consulted with after I started breaking out with multiple large ring rashes on my back, chest, and abdomen during the past several months. Turns out, this is a sign of active Lyme. He said this happens when the body doesn't know what to do with the infection anymore, so it comes out through the skin (an organ itself).

He also told us some things we didn't know about how the Lyme infection has affected my immune system and how this happens when the Borrelia bacteria are in the body long term and isn't sufficiently treated or diagnosed correctly, to begin with, allowing greater dissemination. I think this is a common picture for many of us with chronic Lyme.

Dr. N says a long-term infection with the Lyme bacteria (Borrelias) confuses the immune system to such a degree; it causes it to "lose its intelligence." I'd never heard it put that way before, but I can see this is true.

Specifically, he told us the Lyme infection has caused my immune system to become stuck in a dominant Th2 (T-helper) cycle, an auto-immune cycle. He believes I've been stuck in this a very long time—years. This means my Th1 side is suppressed, and none of this is good because it creates a tremendous imbalance in how the immune system responds to pathogens, toxins, and allergens. One side of the immune system overacts, while the other underacts. If this goes on over time without correction, the immune system can literally burn itself out.

Interjection: I'm pretty sure God has been preserving me.

Interestingly, this explained some other issues I've had for years, like how I easily get and cannot get over certain infections, including some dormant infections that are chronically reactivated, particularly Epstein-Barr Virus (EBV), Cytomegalovirus (CMV), and Varicella-Zoster Virus (VZV). They can get layered in with the Lyme and other tick-borne co-infections. I've had respiratory infections I've never been able to recover from either fully, and now I know why—MTHFR mutations and this severe immune dysfunction, which is actually rooted in the Lyme infection itself.

T helper (Th) cells are immune cells. These cells are neutral until a pathogen (bacteria, virus, parasite, fungus), toxin, or allergen comes along, and they convert into either Th1 or Th2 cells, depending upon the threat.

Th1 cells fight viruses, cancer, yeast, and intracellular bacteria (bacteria inside cells that replicate like Lyme/Borrelias).

Th2 cells fight extracellular bacteria (bacteria that do not invade cells or replicate), parasites, toxins, and allergens.

Dr. Paul Cheney, M.D., explains immune dysfunction syndromes quite well. He says when a person is Th2 activated, they no longer have the defense mechanisms to keep dormant all the things caught in their past. They cannot suppress or control them anymore. Strep, EBV, CMV, etc., reactivate. Candida can also begin to appear. Go here to read more. If that link is broken, try here instead.

While I have had a few improvements, I am still unwell. But, as brutal as this all is, and as sick as I still am, I can't tell you how validating it feels to finally find a doctor who understands what long-term Lyme infections do to the immune and nervous systems—to my immune and nervous systems. 

Finally, somebody who has a deeper understanding of what's really been happening in my body! I'm so grateful to Dr. N. for the revelation he gave my doctor and me and for the time and expertise he graciously shared.

I am grateful to my doctor, too; I feel blessed to have her. She has walked with me through this for the past seven years that I've been seeing her. We've had many ups and downs, and over this last year, we both knew something else needed to be done. As she put it, while there have been some preserving benefits in my treatments, I'm still not getting well, which is a big problem. The fact that I was misdiagnosed for so long—16 years—has only complicated matters. For the record, she is the one who discovered I really have Lyme disease, which was a process in itself, but that's another story for another day. 

Clearly, a new protocol is in order, and I have started a new comprehensive treatment based on Dr. N's recommendations. It's totally herbal (with ongoing homeopathic and nutritional support), and while I've used some herbal therapies in the past, this is a protocol I've never done before. I have been on it for about a month now, and the most significant difference I can tell is that it's clearing up my Lyme rash. Nothing else helped before this.

Dr. N. laid out a very realistic picture of what he believes this treatment must entail. He said it must be comprehensive and not just focused on "killing" the Lyme bacteria, which is really difficult to do once Borrelia spirochetes invade the cells and replicate. It must also address inflammation, damage, and dysfunction in the entire nervous system and other affected organs and systems. And he said gaining back control of my immune system as soon as possible is highly crucial.

We already knew some of these things and have been working to accomplish them. However, Dr. N's insight into how the Lyme infection has affected my immune system changed how we look at the overall picture and proceed with a different treatment. It's like he's given us a huge, missing piece to this crazy, complicated puzzle; an essential element.

Our primary treatment keys:

1.) Treat the long-term Lyme infection as outright as possible using Berberine as a primary herbal antibiotic. Then switch to another herbal combo after 2 months. Back this up with homeopathic remedies.

2.) Reduce overall inflammation in the body, especially in my immune and nervous systems, including my brain. Dr. N says absolutely no one can fully heal or be well with high levels of inflammation in the body. We must also help repair and support the entire nervous system. This is a longer process.

3.) Correct immune dysfunction by helping restore intelligence back to the immune system. This will help with chronic viral infections as well as the Lyme infection.

According to Dr. N, we must do numbers one, two, and three simultaneously to be successful. And so we are. 

4.) Once my immune and nervous systems are stronger, we will start working to correct other dysfunctions in the body like adrenals, thyroid, liver, etc.

Also, maintaining the ability to detoxify is always near the top of the list. If one cannot detox, then one cannot heal. This is something we've been working on for a while and continue doing.

I'd be lying if I didn't say I felt somewhat disheartened by this, and that this has been going on for so long just adds to it; nineteen years total, to be exact. However, I knew deep down that the Lyme infection is still an issue for me because I know my body. If nothing else, this certainly speaks to the complexity and chronicity of Lyme disease. And it speaks of how stealth the Borrelia bacteria are, like it literally hijacks the immune system.

I know this has been rather long, and honestly, I wrestled with writing it because it takes a lot of energy to put it all together. Still, I needed to write an update, if only to document it all for myself. I will try to post periodic updates as I work through this new protocol.

Please pray for my endurance as it would be much appreciated.

I can't even begin to tell you the different treatments I've tried over the years (I know those of you who are also struggling with Lyme totally understand) and how I've worked my butt off to be well. So I really hope and pray this will be a key or at least a big step forward. Some days, it's just plain hard, but I'm still holding to my faith.

The Lord's brought me this far, and I know He will see me through.

With love,

Michelle

Oral Spirochetosis, Lyme, and Other Chronic Diseases

I believe the book, The Stealth Killer: Is Oral Spirochetosis the Missing Link in the Dental and Heart Disease Labyrinth? is very relevant and important not only for those of us with Lyme but for everyone. It's definitely informative and seriously worth the read, in my opinion. Dr. William Nordquist, DMD, connects a big dot between spirochetes and many chronic diseases, including periodontal, cardiovascular, and neurological diseases.

Many of my major health problems began after having oral surgery in 1994. I did have optic neuritis before 1992, but the etiology could never be fully explained. The reason for the surgery was to remove an abscessed portion of bone from my maxilla (which, interestingly, was on the same side as the neuritis). Actually, there was more bone abscessed than the surgeon could initially tell from my x-rays. Of course, he later discovered this fact during the actual surgery. Afterward, I felt very ill. In fact, my recovery did not go well at all.

I tried returning to work two weeks later but took a medical leave of absence for over two months because I was just too exhausted, sick, and debilitated. I couldn't physically function.

After several rounds of labs, it appeared I had developed mono (Epstein-Barr) following the surgery, which was true. This was thought to be the sole reason for my feeling so badly and that I would recover in time. Little did I know; it was only the beginning.

I've never felt the same since.

And I've had so many questions.

Nineteen years later, I still have many questions. Yet I began digging even deeper after discovering chronic Lyme was at the root of my illness a few years ago (of course, we all know the complicating problem with undiagnosed or misdiagnosed Lyme disease is that it becomes chronic or persistent Lyme with multiple co-infections. And that's not even taking into account the weakening or damaging of cells, organs, and systems that occurs through the many taxing months and years of untreated chronic infections and inflammation).

Were oral spirochetes responsible for the abscess in my jaw?

Was Borrelia burgdorferi (Bb), the Lyme bacteria, already present in my system before the surgery? Or other vector-borne bacteria or viruses, for that matter?

Did the invasiveness of that initial surgery (I had two other subsequent surgeries a few years later due to complications, but that's for another time) suppress my immune function, which in turn allowed the release of spirochetes more systemically?

I have my own thoughts about all of this. I've found some solid answers along the way, but I also have my arrived-at-answers too. You know, piecing together certain parts of this health puzzle yourself and arriving at the most apparent answer. Sound familiar?

And then there are those questions that still remain. And perhaps they always will. I'm not sure I'll ever find complete answers for them. Sound familiar too?

According to Dr. Dietrich KlingharM.D.M.D., Ph.D., one of the many presentations of Borrelia, as well as Babesia and Bartonella (two other tick-borne bacteria), can be "non-healing infections of the jaw bone, devitalized teeth, and dental pain."

The more I've researched, the more I've discovered that Borrelia (Lyme) spirochetes, among many things, like bone. A lot. Particularly bones of the jaw and hip. They seem to have an affinity for it. I've heard through the grapevine, if you will, some stories of others with Lyme disease who also had bone infections (osteomyelitis) of the jaw and/or hip. I directly heard a woman tell the story of her mother, who had spirochetes eat through the head of her femur to such a degree; she had to have a hip replacement. And then, the spirochetes began eating through the plastic part of the implant. Crazy!

This is what led me to find Dr. Nordquist's book, The Stealth Killer. Of course, it is written from a dental viewpoint, but that's precisely the point. He discusses, among many things, how all spirochetes, including oral spirochetes and Borrelia, the causative agent of Lyme, share similar, if not identical, survival strategies. Very interesting, don't you think?

When I first started reading it, my mouth dropped open. No pun intended. It spoke to me on so many levels because of the previous dental and jaw bone infections I'd had, as well as a heart arrhythmia I developed several years later. The arrhythmia continually grew worse over the course of two years, and we had no idea what was causing it.

In the meantime, Lyme came into the picture. Long story, but the arrhythmia totally subsided once I started on a Lyme treatment (specifically beginning with Borrelia Remedy Series Therapies from Desbio). It took about three months for my rhythm to completely correct itself, but it did indeed. That's when my doctor and I both knew the Borrelia bacteria had gotten into my heart tissue and was the source of this mysterious arrhythmia.

Dr. Nordquist has also co-written another relevant book that I've yet to read but plan to, The Silent Saboteurs: Unmasking Our Own Oral Spirochetes as the Key to Saving Trillions in Health Care Costs.

On a side note, Dr. David Jernigan, DC, wrote an interesting article entitled, Are You Harboring Bacteria in Your Teeth? that bears witness to this discussion. Beyond daily brushing and flossing, he recommends using a Waterpik Waterflosser Ultra with purified water and a cap full of Thieves Mouthwash, the highly anti-bacterial/anti-viral/anti-fungal essential oil blend, to eliminate any bacteria in the mouth, including Borrelia. This I have tried and like.

Dr. Douglas Martin, DDS, recommends brushing with baking soda and using a Waterpik with Dakin's solution (1 part Clorox to 20 parts water) to eradicate spirochetes, an oral care regimen advocated by Dr. Jurgen Slots, Ph.D., head of the Periodontics program at the University of Southern California. Click here to read more. While I often use baking soda to brush, I've never tried Dakin's solution. Anybody?

I share all this because I absolutely believe that spirochetes have played a role in my health problems from the beginning. And this isn't only a Lyme disease issue. I know many who've had similar experiences. I wonder how many people with Alzheimer's or arteriosclerosis or congestive heart failure, MS, or gingivitis actually have a problem with spirochetes of some kind?

Believe me, I clearly know and understand there are usually many factors that play a role in developing chronic illness. But I also believe there are key triggers involved in the process, including spirochetes. Knowing they can evade detection by the immune system and still cause major havoc in the body unbeknownst to the average person, including many doctors, is what makes me want to share this even more. I'd say stealth is a spot-on description.

I sincerely hope and pray the dental and medical fields will awaken more to this truth. And perhaps in doing so, more lives can be spared the tremendous suffering, debilitation, and loss that comes with pathogenic spirochetal infections like Borrelia, including oral spirochetes.

I'm certainly not advocating living in fear. That is no way to live. I won't. One has to choose to live in hope because there is always hope for something better despite all the difficulty, suffering, and uncertainty. And there are those wonderful doctors, researchers, scientists, and advocates who are diligently working for this very thing - something better. You and I are working for something better too; a better life for ourselves, for our loved ones, and for the next generation.

I have to keep hoping and believing. Let's hope and believe together.

Michelle

P.S. If any of you have had similar experiences that you want to share, I'd love to hear about them.

Hot Tea, Hot Compresses And Hot Ligaments: My Winter Health Update

Right now, I'm spending time focusing on what my body is most in need of. I'm more concentrated on what I can do at home to help aid this healing process. It is truly a full-time job. And while I've been doing many of these for several years, focusing on them more makes me realize just how helpful they really are. Call it intentional focusing.

Here's what I find the most beneficial and even necessary in many regards:

• Warm castor oil compresses on my liver (and sometimes spleen)
• Epsom Salt and aromatherapy baths
• Dry skin brushing
• Stretching 
• Standing; bearing weight
• Bouncing on my physio or Swiss ball to help with lymph movement
• Deep breathing exercises 
• Eating whole, healthy organic foods (always)
• Healthy alkaline smoothies and juices
• Resting as often as needed throughout the day (there's usually no other choice)
• Drinking hot teas (Green, Lemon, Ginger, Pu erh, Tulsi, Gotu Kola, etc.)
• Drinking a lot of pure water
• Spending time outside in the sunshine and fresh air
• Listening to soothing music
• Praying and meditating on God's Word 

Naturopathic and Homeopathic Medicine, Chiropractic, Massage Therapy, and other bodywork (Craniosacral Therapy, Myofascial Release, and Reflexology) are vital aspects of my health regimen. Yet, I believe what I do at home daily is equally as important. I know it is.

DOCTORS UPDATE:

I did come home with some new information from my last doctor's appointment over a week ago.

After a solid year of treatment, Lyme is still in my body. And it's still in my nervous system. We all know when Lyme is in the body chronically; it goes everywhere - organs, tissues, cells. It respects no boundary. As a friend of mine says, "It's a wicked stealth bacteria." You know I've been breaking since last September from my Lyme treatment for those who have regularly followed my blog. Specifically, the part of treatment targeted the strains of Borrelia as well as some co-infections. However, when Dr. P muscle tests me about going back on that part of the treatment protocol, my body emphatically says no. My biggest question regarding this is why? If the Lyme is still in my body, why doesn't it want more of the Lyme treatment?

She believes this indicates that part of the treatment has done its job of pulling out Lyme particles from deep within my cells, tissues, and organs and brought them to the forefront. And now we must support my immune system to do its job of cleaning it up if you will.

Enter new immune support, MycoSurge (a liquid blend of 12 immune modulating mushrooms). I've only been on it a week so far, but I'm really excited about seeing how it will help my immune function. We'll see how it goes.

On another note, Dr. P is still concerned about my liver. This is based on labs, muscle testing, and my symptoms. She believes the Lyme has damaged the nerves that feed my liver. I feel viruses are also playing a role in assaulting my liver cells, namely Epstein-Barr and CMV. She believes having a healthy, optimal functioning liver means better health overall. And I agree. This is a major focus for us. We're also using MycoSurge as new liver support as well.

Still seeing my chiropractor, too. We had to stop the visceral adjustments; they were way too much for me. My liver couldn't keep up with a load of toxins being dumped after each adjustment. So Dr. R tried a new, less invasive technique right before Christmas - The Logan Technique. I had never heard of it. Basically, he holds light pressure for several minutes on the Sacrotuberous ligament, located at the back of the pelvis on each side. Literally, they run right up against each buttock. These ligaments anchor the sacrum to the bones of the pelvis. As I understand it, this technique is said to realign the pelvis and reduce tension on the spine. This relaxes muscles of the low back and pelvis and balances the spine itself, which would affect the peripheral nervous system and influence the organs those nerves feed. Let me say this: something shocking and pleasantly unexpected happened after the first time.

I had a contracture in my right knee for several years that took me a long, painful time to work through physical therapy. It's 85-90 percent better. No one would probably notice it at first, but I cannot straighten my right leg completely. To put it another way, my right leg is a little shorter than my left.

After Dr. R did this Logan Technique, I came home and laid down to rest and noticed my right knee felt really weird. I mean, something felt very odd. And then it hit me; the back of my right knee was touching the bed. That hasn't happened in years. My leg was completely straight! In all honesty, it felt too long. Like out of proportion long. Normal is weird when you've not had it in a very long time.

Unfortunately, it didn't stay that way. After a day and a half, it went back to the way it was. But how amazing that I could straighten my leg completely after all these years, if only for a couple of days!!! And after only one treatment! Very profound. My right hamstring has been aching off/on a great deal since. I view this as positive. Like we are awakening things or restimulating them. Stay tuned for more on this. If that happened after only one treatment, what might happen after several more?

I haven't been back to my chiropractor yet, but I'm anxious to tell him what took place and excited to see what will happen after another treatment. I hope and pray my leg will straighten permanently. This is one of the most exciting things that's happened to me physically in a while.

As far as how I'm feeling goes...

1. I don't feel quite as inflamed since being on the Lyme protocol. Despite eating a healthy, whole organic diet for many years, despite being on antivirals and every known supplement to man, inflammation was still such a significant issue for me until I started treating Lyme. Truly, Lyme is an inflammatory disease. 
2. I'm not running fevers as frequently. 
3. Fatigue is always present on some level, but I must say, overall, it is more moderate in intensity as compared to the many years of severe and debilitating fatigue I've endured. That is definitely a blessing beyond words!! I still have days to contend with the more profound, debilitating fatigue, but it's not a daily occurrence now. I often wonder how I ever survived when it was? I can actually take a shower and not be totally wiped out. I can make my own smoothies and juice. Small steps.
4. I do believe Cataplex B (Standard Process) is helping my energy too. And I can tell it is helping better support my nervous system as I've had a decrease in burning, numbness, and tingling since being on it. Good stuff.
5. My liver is still problematic. Spleen is somewhat better, but one often affects the other because it and the liver share common blood vessels. My liver seems to be functioning better at times, and others, I can tell it's very sluggish and congested. Sometimes, it just aches, as does my spleen. However, the warm castor oil compresses help very much. In fact, the constant puffiness over the front of my liver has gone down since doing the compresses. And my body had actually formed visible blood vessels there, the big puffy kind, which Dr. P was really concerned about. GONE. The only thing I've done differently is the castor oil compresses. She told me to continue doing them indefinitely.
6. I still have days I don't feel well at all. I still get wiped out at times. But I'm so thankful I'm not running fevers as often and that I have some better energy. Hallelujah! Or, as Tyler Perry says, "Hallelujer!"

Any positive, lasting change is very encouraging after so many years of ups and downs, trial and error, crashed expectations, disappointments, misdiagnosis, etc., etc., etc.

I We could write a novel, huh?

Lyme disease is taxing in every way and requires perseverance, resources, and a consistent support system. In my opinion, it also requires supernatural help from the Lord.

I will overcome this with continued perseverance and especially God's help.

Michelle Holderman
Copyright © 2012 

Go. One. More.

My door is open as I write (10:11 AM). It's a rather fallish like day here in my old Kentucky home. Low humidity and a cool gentle breeze blowing. I even had my tea on the deck this morning. Nice way to start a Saturday. It's been such a hot, oppressive summer so this is a very welcome change.

What has not been so nice is how badly I've felt these past three weeks. Bad. Very bad. I'm not feeling all that great even now yet I'm feeling a tad better than I have been. I'm not even sure why I'm writing except to give family and friends an update and perhaps simply to share what I'm going through.

Photo by Katja Brezovar

In addition to my Lyme protocol, I've been on a homeopathic series therapy to treat CMV (Cytomegalovirus) that has reared it's ugly head once again. Think mono. CMV is a cousin to EBV or Epstein-Barr Virus, the most common cause of mononucleosis. CMV and EBV, like Lyme, also get into the nervous system as well other organs. All of this together equals a burdened and overtaxed body that needs a break. Part of the problem is that we've revved up my immune system too much. I'm having an overactive immune response and my muscles, joints and lymph nodes have been paying the price. Clearly, we've had to back off a bit. It's a rather delicate balance. And it's such a complicated and crazy process. Unless you've experienced it up close and personal; you wouldn't believe it all if I told you.

I saw my doctor earlier this week. Correction - I dragged myself to my doctor earlier this week. It was pretty evident I was feeling awful and so we discussed everything that's been happening and made adjustments to my protocol. Yet my body wants to finish out this round of CMV treatment. I'll be done with it in the upcoming week. Still onward ho with the Lyme treatment.

As unwell as I generally feel, there are these times when everything - fatigue, fever, pain, inflammation, and all the other stuff - exacerbates or elevates to the worst level. Ask anyone with Lyme or any chronic illness for that matter and they'll say the same.

As my friend Kathy blogs, this illness has altered everything and requires everything to be altered. What's altered for me lately is the drive to keep pressing in. It's really hard to do when you physically feel so bad and have pressed and persevered for so many years. Yet somehow, someway (Godway) I will press on. I always do. Even when I'm crawling.

Note to self: Don't stop now. Go. One. More.



The Good, The Bad And The Ugly: My Summer Health Update

I think Clint Eastwood would be fond of my title. *Smiling* Or perhaps I should have entitled it, "Go ahead, you punk, Lyme; make my day."  *Eyes squinting*

Nevertheless, here's the lowdown. I am into my eleventh month on the chronic Lyme protocol, and things are definitely in motion. And it is a combination of good, bad, and ugly parts, so the title is quite fitting. Indeed, this process is akin to peeling an onion. The more layers we peel back, the more we find to deal with. And so it's been through the years. It is an incredibly complex process. 

I have been in this for so long, I've learned how to cope, adjust and pace myself and my expectations. That isn't to say I'm not hopeful. I am very much and especially because of my faith. It's walking through this process of healing after being sick and debilitated for so many years that's so challenging. Believe me when I say you cannot understand unless you've been here. I sincerely pray you never are.

Right now, viral co-infections are surfacing again. I say again because I've dealt with many of these for years, not knowing that chronic Lyme disease was underlying all the while (Lyme actually suppresses immune function and opens the door to other infections). Seems this all came in reverse order for me. Regardless, Borrelia (Lyme bacteria), Cytomegalovirus (CMV), Epstein-Barr (EBV), and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever (A tick-borne bacteria and Lyme co-infection) are the most problematic for me at this point and in that order. 

I believe old viral infections resurfacing is a sign that the Lyme treatment is working very profoundly. This physically translates into me not feeling well on many days, and some days are just downright bad, but at least it's for the sake of healing. I feel a deep sense of gratitude to my body for forever working so hard.

As for the viruses, we're treating them homeopathically, which is one core part of my treatment protocol. Homeopathic Medicine is potent, safe, and very effective. I've found it's the best way to go for me. I say this after spending several years on multiple prescription drugs with little to no improvement or change except for a hefty dose of side effects. Wait. Was that sarcasm coming out of me? I am clearly detoxing, but it's true.

Despite what some might say, healing from long-term Lyme disease and co-infections is not easy, and it certainly doesn't happen overnight. There really are no words to convey how sick I've been throughout all these years and how it has impacted every facet of my life. Or how trying the many long days, weeks, months, and years have been. I have often felt Jobesque.

Yet, God has been doing something during all this time, something within me. He still is. Training time in the wilderness on the backside of the mountain, I guess you could say. Maybe you're there too. And even though this road is long and challenging, even though I long for better days, I have many things to be thankful for, even though I don't always understand. It's bittersweet but true nonetheless. 

So I remain in the throes of healing and recovery. There is some improvement overall, albeit slowly. I've had a few better days scattered here and there, but none like I did back in the Spring when I had ten straight days that I felt better than I have in a very long time. 

I'm just now writing about this because, in all honesty, I wanted to keep it and savor it for myself. Then I realized I needed to share it to perhaps encourage others working to be well too. And to say that I believe this speaks of the fact that a transformation of healing is taking place in my body. Still, this is a much harder place to be than I can fully articulate. It's a fight - a fight to live and reclaim my life.  But isn't this the place where extraordinary transformations take place? Isn't this where tragedy is turned into triumph? Where true heroes emerge?

In ending, let me say I have personally learned true healing encompasses body, soul, and spirit. We cannot be entirely well physically or spiritually if we have unresolved emotions or grief. Conversely, whatever happens to us physically certainly flows over and affects us emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Therefore, proper physical diagnosis, treatment, and care are necessary to help the whole body heal and recover. And when we aren't spiritually connected to our Creator, we aren't fully living. 

I think Acts 17:28 captures it best, "For in Him we live and move and have our being." 

We are triad beings - body, soul, and spirit - made in the image of our triune God - God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. I believe complete health and wellness come about when we are well on all three of those levels. That's where I'm working.

Michelle Holderman

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